Why Do We Write?

I started this blog many years ago to cope with my job at a hotel. I had some pretty great stories. I also posted stories about cooking … trying out new recipes and how they turned out. I left the hotel for retail and since stopped writing too much about work (retail didn’t have the same oomph as hospitality … like I said, there were some good stories, like how the hotel flooded the weekend of UNC graduation, or how I would have to chase hookers out of the hotel, or call the cops at least once a week, or had to wrangle a snake out of a guest room because my 6’4″ 220 lb maintenance man “didn’t mess with no snakes”. Then was told by a guest I needed to do a ritual sacrifice of it because it was of the Devil himself. No, I’m going to release Fluffikins into the woods away from your crazy hoodoo believing self and hope he makes it.

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Like I said, some good stories. But lately, retail is offering up some good stories too. Like, I could write a pilot for a sitcom and actually pitch it to a studio and make bank stories. Like the couple who came in wanting a 2 carat diamond set in platinum on a $3000 budget. Or the lady who tried to convince 3 people with over 50 years experience in the industry between the 3 of them that the stone she dropped off to have set was a. worth $50,000 and b. a rare purple tanzanite found in the 1800’s. Tanzanite wasn’t discovered until the late 1960’s. This all happened just in the last week. An extremely quick math deduction (measuring the stone vs its actual weight) declared it a cubic zirconia. If you’re gonna lie, make sure you’re not lying to people who know their business.

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I also write about my struggles with my weight and fibromyalgia. Because they are struggles and those two little bastards go hand in hand. I have fibro, which makes me feel like poo, in turn makes exercise no fun. I took Jack for a walk this evening, and I could be wrong, and it could have just been the 85 degree weather with 75% humidity, but we both kind of felt like crap after a 20 minute walk. I do feel far better since i had my lidocaine infusion on Friday (and my little heart episode keeping things exciting and nurses on their toes) but the pain is always there; its just been downgraded from a roaring pissed off lion to a fluffy rowdy kitten. My weight could also be a combination of factors- medications (I’m on 3 that affect weight and sex drive) and the fact that anything more strenuous than walking is agonizing most days, though I would punch baby penguins to ride a horse again…. talk about a work out. and I wouldn’t bitch to anyone. Have you ever ridden a horse dear reader? If not, you should. It changes your entire world. I’ve had the pleasure of accompanying friends on their first rides and its life affirming, life changing, and you understand the word serenity when you’re in the saddle. I’m not talking the spaceship though I’d kill something cute and fuzzy for that too.

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I’ve gotten off track. Maybe not … I’m not sure. I write because it allows me to see what is going on inside. I don’t write about politics or world events because everyone else is. Yes, I have opinions on them, yes a whole lot of shit needs to change. When I was high on valium for my infusion I distinctly remember telling a friend that what the world needs now is valium. Write policies while high on valium. See how much people care about who marries whom, and who is peeing in which bathroom when everyone is happy and carefree on valium.

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But I want to start writing more. To amuse myself, maybe you blessed reader, if you’ve read this long, with my shenanigans and antics. My cooking, which my boyfriend claims to be some of the best he’s ever experienced, and he should know as he’s worked in kitchens his whole adult life. Raw talent is what he calls it. I tell him I just do what my mom told me … just follow the recipe. I don’t think he believed me when I told him that’s literally how I learned to cook- until we went home for Christmas and mom said those exact words about a new recipe her and dad were going to try- “just follow the recipe”.

So yes, you’ll be inundated with new posts about work, life and cooking. Because the real world is shit and we all need a little amusement. And working jewelry retail is about as amusing as it gets.

for your (and my) viewing pleasure

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