I hate being gluten free

Absolutely hate it. I have finally made the move to be 100% gluten free as I have been working with doctors that finally believe I have chronic pain and have the official diagnosis of fibromyalgia. And being gluten free doesn’t completely alleviate the fibro pains, but it does help. And does it suck!

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Gluten free foods generally suck. There isn’t a brand of crackers that taste like crackers. I finally found pasta I love- but I have to order it from Amazon. Bread as well- only one Harris Teeter carries it around here that doesn’t taste like the plastic its wrapped in.

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And convenience? Bitch, please. There is nothing convenient about being gluten free. Every meal has to be considered, thought out, and planned. There is very little room for impulsive “ooh lets go here!” Because if you’re lucky, you’ll get a sucky salad… again. And be hungry again in an hour.

And I’m a grumpy, annoying gluten free person. I don’t like the “alternate grains”. Quinoa? No freaking thanks. I know it’s a “super-grain” but nope. Can’t do it. I’ve tried it a dozen ways, a dozen times and I can’t do it. And the mixing of 5 different flours to get the consistency of normal, all purpose wheat flour? yeah, super convenient. And cup for cup gluten free mixes is a joke. You have to go by weight, not by volume or you end up with ridiculously dense, not risen, and dry food.

Don’t come at me with the “healthy” aspect of gluten free diets. Not even a bit. I can be healthy and I know how to be healthy. And yes, being gluten free, I have naturally gone a little lighter on the carbs. Because the gluten free version of carb loaded foods suck.

I want “normal” foods with just a gluten free option. Why can’t I order in a restaurant and have a gluten free battered whatever? My options on most menus is relegated to the salads (minus croutons and most dressings) and burgers or chicken dishes without the buns. Why haven’t restaurants made it possible for gluten free people to enjoy same foods? P.F. Chang’s is the closest chain restaurant I have seen that mimics their menu items for gluten free patrons.

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And paying extra for gluten free! As an example, we like to do frozen pizza once in a while, and the bf’s pizza- I can get 3 for $10… and one of mine would be $11! and it’s smaller. and its’ usually just cheese. Because gluten free is just “so much more effort”. Come on guys, whether or not people need to be gluten free, there’s enough of us to justify having gluten free products and keeping the cost down.

Having gone my whole life not being gluten free, then having to make that change it is difficult. Having to read labels, and scrutinize all kinds of foods, its hard. To turn down offers of people who bring donuts or baked treats to work … that just sucks! of all companies, why hasn’t Dunkin’ Donuts done a gluten free donut!? Why is that not a thing?!?

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I hope as I get further along in both my treatment at the Duke Pain Clinic, and adjusting to being gluten free, *gulp*, forever, it’ll get easier. Something I won’t have to think about every time I go out- go out with friends, out for dinner, grocery shopping. But I will always hate it. Until someone (or hell, me) comes up with a spectacular Sourdough loaf that tastes exactly like sourdough … just gluten free … I will despise being gluten free.

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